Saturday, August 4, 2012

The main atrium at the High Museum of Art, Atlanta. (Jan 2012)
One of the hardest parts of being an adult is making decisions.  Sometimes even simple decisions are monumental. Some decisions that should be difficult to make, turn out to be very easy.  To prove my point, one of the hardest decisions I have ever made involved things like where to take a full time position and where to attend college.  However, things like moving to Germany, pursuing my current job, getting married, adopting a dog, all of those decisions were relatively easy for me to make.  Many of these decisions were probably made with too little thought. These were all things that  I knew without a doubt that I wanted. I don't consider myself to be a super fearful person.  I think the decisions that I struggle with the most are the ones where I am afraid that I will disappoint someone.  Usually that someone is myself.  Sometime I get so caught up in pleasing other people I forget that ultimately I am the one who has to live with the consequences. Actually, to a lesser extent, my husband,  has to deal witht the consquences, too. He is super supportive and I know he will support whatever decision I make.

I know this is probably the most vague blog post ever, but sometimes a girl needs to unload somewhere.

I wrote the above words before I found out I was pregnant.  I am still debating the same issue I wrote about here. Having a child thrown into the mix makes decisions in life even harder. This particular decision is one that I hope that time and pray will provide a clear answer to. 

I don't discuss my faith out loud very much. I find my relationship with God to be something I keep very private and only share in small, intimate settings. The only way, I know to find a clear answer to my problems sometimes is prayer.  God is funny in the way he answers my prayers. Sometimes the answer is immediate, other times delayed.  I feel like he is slowly laying his plan for my life out in front of me.  Every detail becomes clear as he decides to unveil it to me. His plan is always better than the one can imagine for myself. From this, I become more patient.  I learn to be grateful for my life as it is today. 

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